Turn Out Your Pockets
by VictoriousNagini
Summary: Just what is the main thing the Doctor keeps buried in there after centuries of regeneration? Rose finds herself on a frustrating quest to find out.


**Spoilers: **None that I know of. Set after LotTL {you'd think I'd be done with this sappy piece of TV, but no, EVERY TIME I THINK I'M OUT, RTD PULLS ME BACK IN}. Obviously AU since Miss Tyler is still with original Ten and Meta never existed, it's also obvious Bad Wolf allowed her to live as long as Doc and they had at least three lovely red-headed, one blonde, tiem babies. But that's just my opinion, 'cause stuff like that is too good to happen in my reality. .

**Disclaimer:** Like I said. You know I wouldn't be sitting here if I owned this shit.

**Feedback:** Respectfully welcomed**.**

**A/N: **I know some people have already thought of this, though fic-wise, I'm not sure. Probably. Anyway, this is supposed to be a one-shot…but then, so was half my other fics about DW. I sort of 'Whump!' Donna in this as well… Forgive me, oh humble one.

BTW, I used an actual Planet from the show this time!… Unnecessary, right! I know!

OK. I've thoroughly embarrassed myself enough; my work is now officially done here.

Enjoyxx

Rose Tyler was always quite the curious individual. Even Jackie had to check once in a while if her daughter was listening on the other line whenever she rang up one of her girlfriends.

In her defense, she _had_ been twelve…

But in all her twenty plus years Rose was hardly ever more curious about something than she was about the Doctor's three-dimensional pockets. Just what did he have in there? And why did he always change the subject when she asked? She blew an escaped strand of hair out of her face, the nifty little bun she had it in earlier ceased to exist due to running for their lives. Again. Was she complaining? Certainly not, and certainly not after finally finding her Doctor and being able to travel with him, possibly forever this time if Bad Wolf has a say in the matter. Although she honestly did feel sorry for the way things turned out with Donna, she was a great friend and a brilliant woman, and should've been told so more often. But when the Doctor had defeated the Master for the final time, resulting in placing the universe back in its rightful order before things seriously became shit-wrecked, Rose made sure he kept his promise to visit her during the holidays.

The memory had come back vivdly and was most likely brought on by her recent conundrum, while lying on her bed, _their_ bed as it was so recently called and left her wondering if the Doctor meant that little slip or not, thinking how it ever become possible that she hadn't ask the golden question, besides his name of course, what kept those pockets so interesting?

The Doctor sighed like he hadn't done so in years when he heard his companion's trainers pad over the console room's floor. Knowing the question had to divulge itself at some point was one thing, answering _that_ question was another issue wholly.

"So….Doctor. Remember that question I asked over mum's?" His pink and yellow companion's words cut through the air as she plopped herself down on the captain's chair, fidgeting with her cuticules.

"No Rose. Just. Not now."

"Aw, 'c'mon Doctor, where's the fun in that?"

"'Aw come on' nothing." He mimicked her. Doing a very campy version of her tossing her hair and smiling. "Don't take this the wrong way, I love when you stroll in here talking about everything under the sun, it helps break the unbearable silence, and you understand how difficult that can be for me. But we are not shooting the breeze over what I have in my pockets. It's my personal business, possibly my ONLY business when it comes to you; I'm getting off base though. Either way, it's for me to find out and for you to…well, you know that bit.

He returned to his work under the console, the ship was beginning to make a terrible screeching noise and the central column's steady glow had begun to flicker, alerting him that something was seriously wrong. Or it could've been the wrench he 'accidently' (as in, 'wanted to see if an oddly shaped structure would hold'—same thing when you got down to it) dropped below it one day while his eyes were transfixed on a team of thirty or so fleas conversing with a hand full of roaches about dinner reservations. Thankfully they'd moved their circus—'family reunion' as he'd overheard them a couple nights ago—behind the Wardrobe. The look on Rose's face was priceless when they'd all jumped out to sing Happy Birthday in voices so high-pitched he doubted any animal could hear it. Not exactly priceless when they ate her cake and left a crumb. Humans really do have proper terms for different kinds of punishment; his favorite is probably the 'doghouse'.

Well, those fleas and roaches were idiots who should've seen her foot coming. Not that he condoned that sort of violence…

"Okay, I get the point. Seriously, it's not a big deal though," She sat on the captain's chair, sticking her tongue between her teeth. "So out with it. Jelly babies? Rolaids? Catnip?"

"Three hundred year old jelly babies, in fact. But you didn't hear that from me."

"Speaking of all things 'ye old', what about Shakespeare?" She asked. Knowing his fascination with the man was prominent.

"Ah, I would like to think of myself as something of a connoisseur of the arts," Rose's amused snicker was thankfully missed as he prattled on.

"Always did fancy a brilliant period piece, such as Hamlet. Being the complete complexity, predisposed, and quite insidious at times I must say, nutter he was."

"No, I meant Shakespeare himself."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Why the hell would I keep Shakespeare in my pocket?"

Rose groaned. "I don't know, Doctor, maybe you got so bored when you were alone that you needed someone to play Scrabble with. Not that you'd be any better at it." She added teasingly. He was just so entertaining when you got him riled up.

"Rose, those are by far the most ridiculous words ever to grace my presence and I have taken great offence that you would even think—"

"All right, Doctor, I'm sorry. Keep your pants on, eh?"

He frowned warily and nodded, knowing Rose liked to tease him to bring him out of his brooding, but beamed after a few moments. "Besides, I'm not alone anymore, am I?"

"No, Doctor. Not for a long while, I s'pose." She replied, choosing now to sit cross-legged on the captain's chair. She'd come to think of it as her own personal throne whenever she came to keep the Doctor company. Hopefully he wouldn't be too insulted at the notion if he discovered her new pet name, since the TARDIS has already given her outright approval, amusingly enough, by changing the chair's pattern to white Roses with intricate gold lining. Conveniently, however, should the Doctor happen to look at the chair, it would reform into its original shabby, and comfy, state. It amazed her that the TARDIS could still have more than a few tricks up her sleeve, er-or rotator, on occasion.

Oh God.

A thought sprang into formality as she smiled at the memory of the ship's new little edition specially made for her. Maybe he kept other people in there, like companions who wouldn't stop talking or abide by the rules, just hopefully not _bits_ of people. She knew he could have his moments of madness at the oddest of times and anything was possible with him, though she never pegged the Doctor for a cannibal. "Doctor, do you keep other companions in there, or people in general?"

"No!" The Doctor all but yelled. Pushing his sleek and rather appealing specs further up his nose, frowning deeply and resumed his work. _Rasslion, humans certainly inhabited very silly thoughts._

Rose crossed her arms; head tilted as if she contemplated some unknown origin of life, and tapped her foot anxiously on the grating. The Doctor threw down his wiring and climbed from under the console, giving her a dour look. "What."

"Can you, though?"

"No! That is-" He faltered, glancing at the console nervously under Rose's patronizing stare. "Well...I suppose I've never really bothered."

"To keep 'em or check?"

"Smidgen of both, really."

"That solves it then." Rose made to reach for his jacket, his oh-so-precious Joplin gift, when he smacked her hand away.

"Once you get on something you don't let it go, do you?" He said with a huff, his lips curling regardless at her blatant attempts at finding out his secrets. Well, one of his secrets, if he was being honest. _She'll never find it in a million years._ He thought satisfyingly, after all, there's still a need for mystery every now and then, right?

"'Course. Wouldn't be the 'Brave Little Toaster' I am if I didn't, yeah?"

"Brave Little what?"

"Toaster, Doctor. _Toaster_," She laughed. Surprised he hadn't caught the remark. 'It's an American film. Watched it with mum when I was a kid."

"Oh."

"Yup," Rose started to walk away but thought better when she felt the need to ask one last time. "You really aren't going to say?"

"I haven't the foggiest." He remarked, waving the question away. Giving her his best 'I'm the cleverest in the room' grin.

"Typical." She pulled a face at him and left for the kitchen in search of some snackage.

"In this regeneration...right old girl?" He muttered absently while flicking various switches and testing his new wire fix.

"Wha'?" She came to a halt at the corridor.

"Hmm? Oh, I said there's a planet called….Asgard." Pausing for effect and hoping she would forget the entire thing all together. "Great place for a picnic, or so I've been told."

Uh huh. Just as she'd come to suspect and exactly what she suspected last time this little thought crossed her mind. Once she ruled out the basics, which weren't many considering she knew where he kept his Screwdriver and the Jelly Babies usually stayed hidden in a compartment under the kitchen sink—he was good for a laugh on that one, it was almost too easy to guess. That left the Doctor's most favorite treat, and/or obsession. A very serious to potentially unstable oral fixation came to mind, but no.

Bananas.

"Well, old girl, she's not getting her inquisitive little hands on my Double Fudge Banana Chip Spilt stash, I can tell you that much." The Doctor said when he figured she was far enough away from the console and continued pressing buttons and twisting knobs.

"Doctor?" She inquired. Feigning rapt interest the naming of the planet and prolonging her trip down the corridor for a second time.

"Yes, my Rose by any other name?"

She stuck out her tongue before replying. "Do save the sprinkles for my half of the split, will you? Ta."

"How—"

Rose vanished before he could be heard. He sent a mental note to his ship telling her never to let Rose handle laundry duty again, even though he knew she wouldn't.

"I told you we shouldn't have visited Jackie for that game of Twister; no wonder my pockets felt lighter." He stated and went back to sitting a coordinates for the next destination.


End file.
